3days in pdx...the abridged edition

am crazy tired...so this post is going to be the cliff notes for our trip...
*inky& bretty *kennedy school *tator tots*friendly jennie at pedx*kick-ass kelley & todd at office*fun fun dive bar run*yummy eats*loving chi-pups*mmmm, meat platter*rain*beauteous scenery*more yummy eats and potables*oysters* eddie izzard*scary mannequins*lovely LeLo*more rain*more chi love*naked city/julian*brilliant coffee...again and again and again...*brett's home cookin'*anna's laugh*

PDX, baby!!!

so we are off to the land of inky, LeLo, and bretty for the weekend...should be a barrel of monkeys or fun or whatever pleases you...hopefully the rain will abate for our visit...no worries though...as long as it is not here, that's swell with me!!!

so you're thinking about going off your meds..??...

i guess options are a good thing, but perhaps a little ED and weight gain may be preferable...





depression
transorbital lobotomy

this place is the best!

I L O V E winter in vermont...it's super!

misc ramblings

a little something...

...to help you get through the day, or more importantly, this administration.






dave chapelle
bush

stabby, rip, stab, stab....

if you do one thing today, then it must be to go to video.google.com and search " i must be emo"...for the sake of job preservation, i will not post the direct link...
now, make sure it is the original... faint starscry... and not those of teens lip synching to it...

ah, youth, but, hey...let's face it, who hasn't been there...















emo
misc ramblings

afterall, we are all created in his image...

well, i came across yet anotheramusing timesuck...now, i must post a caveat here...perhaps this site is run by uber-christians, trying to compile info to create a super aryan nation, but nevertheless, they have provided me with the last 15minutes of fun...my heritage face regonition...what you do is you click on the free demo for face regonition (give some info...make it up if you want, it doesn't effect the outcome) and voila...the pic of your face is "scientifically scanned" and you are given your celebrities- through- the -centuries matches...now, i had to actually upload a number of pics before i got matches...i found that face forward shots work best, so i used this photo of me and my beau. the matches were as follows:
bevs

1. michelle pfieffer(maybe from the grease II years...)
   
2. courtney cox(had the hair cut, circa 1994)
   
3. hillary swank(the nose thing)
   
4. julianne moore(spot on...ha)
   
5. drew barrymore(our girls are definitely matches, but that wasn't what was scanned)
   
6. madonna(uh, sure)
7. sandra bullock (perhaps we share similar tranny-like attributes or just the big noses thing again)
8. isabella rosselini(of course during the lancome years)
9. eva braun(well, duh...please that was a given)
10. olivia newton john(its that we are both aussies and i am into getting physical)

now the more amusing and far more accurate ...
mikey

1. pj harvey (he doesn't shave his pits and is fond of QOTSA, as well)
2. anne frank(he has been known to hide in the closet, i mean, the attic...)
3. edith stein(well he is devoted to the carmelites and when he dons his habit, i do see the similarity)
4. eddie irvine(um, they like cars and bleaching their hair)
5. boris karloff(big, lanky and creepy at times, but i loves him all the same)
6. joaquin phoenix(the hairlip)
7. shahid kapoor(the bollywood connection and the clear indian features)
8. Nikolai Gogol(well, the brillance and the hair and 'stache, of course)
9. Grace Kelly(classic beauty inherent)
10. Lauren Bacall(the adams apple)

next step to the fun would be pairing up our matches...my personal pick is anne and eva...has love connection written all over...star-crossed love...fighting the age and ethnicity piece, not to mention the fight of what societal prescripts deem as acceptable... of their same sex love...brilliant...couldn't be a more timeless and timely screenplay(plus we can coattail the whole brokeback mtn thing)...quick...let's throw it together and get it to sundance...how provactive...

give me a C, a bouncy C...

well, my toes are tappin'... mikey has turned me on to what may just be the next hot hot H-O-T-T (that's right 2 Ts...)thing stateside...ARCTIC MONKEYS...they are already the shit across the pond...am also actually enjoying a little WE ARE SCIENTISTS, as well...with the bleakness of winter in vermont, i am needing something a little poppy sounding...

arctic monkeys
We are Scientists
music

so i ask, who put a cap in your ass???...

yet another evening spent being productive...
so i (and millions of others, no doubt)was sent this bulletin on stalkerspace myspace asking the question; "How were you killed?"...the deal is you are to google..."insert your name here was killed" and then find the most interesting/twisted/perverse item and repost the bulletin with "your" demise inserted. it actually was a pretty fun way to spend a few moments...only three things showed up for me, two of which were with Beverly as the last name...so, anyway, this is how i bit it...Beverly was killed by someone she knew, probably someone on her own street. figures...never did trust those lawyers or bankers or teens...

pic courtesy(sure) of crease-sf.com

misc ramblings

star jones, tara reid, vincent gallo, oh my...

by happenstance, virenda turned me onto this blog...GALLERY OF THE ABSURD...i have found it to be an amusing time suck...am partial to the vincent gallo post illustration...thanks, virenda!

vincent gallo
misc ramblings

True Confessions...second installment....

...i just used mikey's razor to shave my legs...and my underarms...and my...anyway, that'll teach him for using my bumble & bumble styling lotion...yeah, i know you have been you (insert pc term) giver...

The 5...

well, the ever cheeky, yet thought provoking LeLo has dropped the meme gauntlet for me re 5 strange habits...being the oh so overanalyzing,self-judger(is that even a word), i have worked myself into a bit of spiral of neuroses as i have been whittling down my list to 5...but here it is...have made it tame for the general viewing audience, believe me, babies i have stranger ones...please note, these are listed in no specific order of importance nor bizarreness:

1. when i wish for a snowday(hence a day off from work) i am very specific about the date, which school it should effect and just in case there is a more than one school with my school's name, i am precise about the location...part of this process also includes needing to make the wish in my head...it cannot be said outloud 'cuz i may jinx it... and it must be done at a minimum of 5 times and each time i wake during the night...now mind you, this habit only applies to the winter months.
2. specific, upon-rising morning routine must be the following and cannot deviate or i am thrown off for the whole day; squeeze mikey in some mannerand/or kiss his back, head directly to fill the cat's food bowl, change her water (and this is so difficult b/c i usually have to pee like a banshe but i must do this first...remember order is important...and then the damn running water just makes it almost unbearable),turn on shower,pee, brush my teeth, jump in shower. note this is the abbreviated version and pertains to those things which i believe i cannot alter lest the sky will fall our at least i will have a shit-ass day (no, i am not OCD, got it...just like ritual, that's all)...also, this applies only to work days...i do allow variation on vacations and weekends...
   
3. not make eye contact with armored car drivers...it all started as a joke with my friend kelly and now it is just a given that you are to avert your eyes lest they be trigger happy and shoot you.
   
4. douchey nicknames/made-up words......i have this insane need to make up words b/c i feel that they better define the action i am in the middle of or the way i feel about the person i am speaking to...those who know me best understand what i am referring to and they tolerate it...i don't say really dumbass things like"hey sunnybunny"...sometimes they are more like sounds, but the one i seem to be most fond of is buzzhie(yeah, cuz that's not dumbass or anything)...mikey always thinks i am saying budgie, which makes me nuts b/c clearly, i am not...that's a bird for christ's sake.
5. google news search kevin lowe...at least once every other day and/or visit the edmonton sun website as i have had this obsession with edmonton, since i was 11 and began my subsequent lust for hockey players...i know,i am so super cool...

k, lelo, there it is,somewhat odd but rather tame by all accounts... i have a job to preserve...now it's your turn mikey, inky, bretty and any of my other dear ones who dare to share...hopefully more risque/interesting strange habits will be shared by you others...

ooo, speaking of spain...

tiny reference in previous post(to spain that is)...check out this other blogspotters, blog...very dreamy livin'...

True Confessions...O Canada style...

we all have our obsessions...my more hipster friends, such as one i will only refer to as the sassy ms. SI, has quite the thing for anton newcombe...my boyfriend lusts for amelie (no, not the actress only the film character...and yes, this link is in spanish...i think spanish, but it was the best one, i thought)..., my ex-fiance fancied audrey hepburn...however, i am about to confide in the few of you that read this blog about my obsession...the canadian icon that is don cherry...it could be a whole daddy complex, unresolved issues thing, but i believe it truly lies in the unbridled fashion passion he possesses.... the picture below so does not do justice to the man ...i snapped it off the telly (oops...shhhh....)had to, ...had out done himself again in all his fashion/patriotic splendor. he was donned (no pun intended) in the colors of the canadian jr and men's olympic team (red, black and white)...damn i wish you could make it all out from that pic...it was delicious. oh my, i just don't know what it is...perhaps the french cuffs, those hotttt tailor made, double breasted suits, and his yummy silk ties...or maybe its his abrasive personality (you know, again, that whole daddy thing...pls love me, daddy).

in acutality, hockey is my obsession and yes, it is a saturday night and yes, i was home watching hockey night in canada...oh wait, this was a special day...it was hockey DAY in canada

this is a side of me that few in my life know of...i am a hockey hag...once even made out with guy on the outside chance that i would get to meet kevin lowe...who, in actuality is my true obsession and has been my fantasy bf for the past 23 years(and yes, that pic is probably just as old so now he too would qualify as a daddy fixation for me)... i admit this with no shame whatsoever...so top that all my super cool friends (who don't read my blog anyway...moment of self pity...).

don cherry
hockey night in canada

the culprit...

outside of the fact that we live in a nearly 100 year old house...we have hard and fast proof why we continue to freeze our arses off...my damn fat cat has taken up residence on our heating vents...she just moves from one room to the other, ensconcing her fluffy pudge upon them, syphoning all our damn heat...but i guess a warm pussy is a happy pussy...

Ethel the Pirate. 'Tis Me...

I not only swashbuckle, but I can knock-out one hell of show tune, so give me all your booty, bitches...ARRRR!

My pirate name is:

Captain Ethel Bonney

Even though there's no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes you're the one in charge. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate's life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.

Mighty Christian of you, Pat...

Robertson Links Sharon Stroke, God's Wrath...this added to numerous other "divinely driven" robertson comments...god this man is such a douche and for that he gets the big ol'

...feel free to add any other bits o'robertson wisdom you have come across in the comments

pat robertson

Bob Predicts....

2006 is just going to be a "...horrible year, just quite terrible in fact...". bob is my post office boyfriend...we have developed our relationship over the months of my daily tiny mail trips and i adore him. perhaps it is his curmudgeonly ways, my issues re father figures, whatever some analyst may say...
anyway, bob and i chatted about 2006 thus far and he rattled off just why he felt so vehemently that this year was going to [suck](my words, bob would never use such base language); bush still in office, all those poor soldiers still stuck in and returning home from iraq, the mess that iraq is, the shit with sharon and what this may portend for the middle east(i know there are varying opinions on this whole mess that i doubt us westerners can even begin to comprehend and i am by no means stating sharon was some hero...) and to say the least, the "damn cost of heating fuel"(direct bob quote). those were bob's biggies, that and interest rates as he is in the progress of building his eventual retirement home.

Some others i have spoken to have more hope for the new year (like my sis says, she kinda digs on even numbered years)...who knows...all i know am sure of at this point is we have to get that damn xmas tree down...think we have used up the 12 days already.

And today's word is...

Schadenfreude...come on now, don't deny it, you've been there...but just remember someone no doubt has in turn delighted in your misery, too, babies...have a good day!

heavy shit

Moments of Clarity...

after having had a nice long, enlightening chat with my dear H, yesterday, i hand you these little morsels to ponder on your first tuesday of 2006...brace yourself...love is conditional any talk of this unconditional love is bullshit. and...now here is another to thing to turn about in your grey matter ...reason or faith, which do you choose?...(pssst...can't be both....).
well, now, time to go get some caffeine and get my arse to the halls of teen angst.

oh my, i believe a moment of clarity has hit me...

It's official...2006 EST

so here we are, another year...am pleasantly buzzed(note, if you could make out my eyes in this pic, you would see they are all glassed over) after numerous gts, appertifs and various chats with friends...which were quite nice...anna, bretty, rigo, and the dearest hugh... dinner with mikey was cozy, yet the meal mediocre, while the drinks were yum and the conversation well, a bit more serious than either of us hoped for, but that is okee dokee. so no resolutions here, never keep them. am warming myself with a whiskey sour...the drink of champions and dean martin and am off to further ring in the new year!!! happy happy everyone!!!...oh and by the way...waaaaaaaay too creepy with dick clark(god bless his rehabilitating soul) rockin' in the new year...had to quickly throw back my bourbon to make the pity go away.