bleh...

i truly feel as though the gods/goddesses are conspiring against me...and you know, i don't think this is just my typical persecution complex/paranoid neuroses thingy going on...i am slightly befuddled by why this week has been proceeding in the manner it has...i have wracked my brain for whether i had intentionally cut someone off in traffic, flipped someone the bird, said particularly unkind things or just expressed utter ill-will toward another and actually i have been a pretty kind person this week...additionally, it is been beautiful weather and i have made a concerted effort to be positive, but shitty things keep happening...it started with the car doing not so nice things that got progressively worse...(things that i believe are going to be quite expensive)...then i got some kinda bad/unsettling news...then i lost a favorite earring...then having to drive over 600 miles this week when the price of gas is nearly 3.00/gal...then... saw the oilers blow a lead which would have brought them that much closer to putting an end to those annoying redwings...and now this is the absolute worst and most alarmingly, upsetting thing...my computer got a god damn virus and the most insidious kind that has nearly pushed me over the edge...yes, the dreaded adware-pop-up-motherf*cking-son of bitch- make my life miserable virus...it's true...you know i think of all those damn people and their happy little macs and i just want to smack them all...especially my more than smug partner who just looks at me and says "yeah, that's why i hate pcs...man, am i happy i have a mac"...in fact as a labor of love and being the true martyr i am, i have been attempting to write my prose of pity while closing nearly 60 pop-ups in just this brief 10 mins that i have been typing...so screw the impoverished(which, by the way i am nearly one), and the homeless, and the street-urchin olivers of the world...i my lovelies, now know true suffering...i have downloaded and installed untold numbers of scanning/cleaning/anti-spyware fixits in the last few days...currently, i am sitting here, in the middle of the night, trying to keep my poor, heavy-lidded eyes open as i await, once again, the results of yet another malware cleaner-upper...damnit, brangelina, i should be your latest charity endeavor...if you both really cared about humanity, you would send me a mac mini NOW...haven't i suffered enough???!!!

spring comes with a price...

and that my dears would be a big, bright, shiny, red allergy nose...ugh...i look like a drunkard...don't get me wrong, i am happy to finally see flowers blooming, trees budding, and the grass turning green, but i am not so happy about the red red nose of springtime...it is particularly opulent against my pale-ass freckled face and unwittingly i decided to wear bright red lipstick, today, and much to my dismay i was all alight like rudolph...i then applied a dab of powder that ended up making me more ghostly appearing...ugh, damn my celtic heritage...damn my poor immune system...see, even mikey appears to have some spring nose problems...we all have our crosses to bare...

jump around! jump around! jump around! jump up jump up and get down!

YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

giggle for the day...

famous people are so silly...
it would appear that brangelina forgot that in receiving a bagillion dollars to be worshipped they sold their rights to privacy...in the midst of all the craziness in the world i found the following press release particularly giggle-fit inspiring in between random bouts of gagging...

Pregnant Jolie, Pitt Seek Namibia Privacy

"We love Africa and to be here in Namibia with our family is very special for us...To the local people who have been so kind and gracious, thank you for making us feel at home."As for the press, we kindly ask for privacy so that we can enjoy this beautiful country with our children."

i particularly was tickled by the closing sentence in this priceless piece of journalism:

'The Sunday Times said Jolie and Pitt were spotted last week at a local Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet with her children, Maddox and Zahara, and then went to a pet store to buy a turtle."

i really dislike opera...

and avril lavigne and country music(although i have been known to happily partake in the alt-country stylings of blue rodeo and of course, wilco & sarah harmer), but mostly i detest opera...i cannot even pretend to enjoy it and believe me, i love to slap on the pretension as much as anyone, but i simply cannot do it when it comes to that gutteral war cry of a phlegmatic...no, no not the right word...phlegmy virtuoso...anyway, mainly i am just pissed that weekend at the opera has seemed to interfere with weekend edition...see, i told you i could put on the pretension when i wanted to...oh, but lest i come off too haughty let me make it known i don't contribute to public radio, that's right, never have, i am a pilfer of the public radio...yup, i am a public radio mooching, reality tv watching, consumer- whore, judgemental bitch! YEA ME!

God Bless America!

praise be to L RON, unto him a child is born...that's right kiddles, suri cruise, silently and oh so superiorily entered our world yesterday...now tom can pull a michael jackson, buy katie a seperate dwelling, and run around the world with his spawn sans his mate...



oh my it has been so long...i have no excuses and must accept the scoldings that i have received for my 2 week lapse...am flipping through the catalogs of my mind to recollect what all has been going on...but you know, it would just me blathering on about some banal blah blah about "ooo look at me" "ooo i am so busy...i am so special..." BLECK, am just kicking in the gag reflex over that prospect...so instead i will skip the tedium of self-importance (at least for today) and instead share with you the really big exciting world happenings...ready kiddies, LET'S GO (obscure reference to early 80s canadian kids show...never mind)...

*so, ol "chubbsie the prolific sweater" aka Scott McClellan stepped-down today...damn, that boy mcClellan was the master of saying lots of NOTHING...what will Bush do without his poster child for double speak...


*stand by your man...yeah, the rummy/bush love story continues as we continue to spiral into the greatest clusterf*uck in our history...nothing promises diaster more than arrogant old white men...for christ's sake boys, put down the viagra and let people who really know what they are doing handle this colossal assfest.



*ooo, speaking of assfests...the super-race of brangelina should be gracing us soon...yeah, hmmmm...will the adoptee pitt-jolies be pawned off on the nannies so they can focus on their own special brand of pure magnificance? will angelina finally work through her daddy issues? stay tuned...

wow, never saw that coming...

Extra, Extra Tom Delay Decides toResign from
Congress...christ, what took so long???!!???

douchebag
liar
tom delay
ass
treachery
misc ramblings
ass clown

and the kids' choice award for classiest ass act goes to...

yeah, this happened to me once, too...however, it was my senior winter formal and i was stumbling out of the girls' bathroom, wicked trashed...for christ sakes, lindsay this was a KIDS' show...sober up, eat a couple meals and put on some panties!








lindsay lohan
ass
kids' choice awards
anorexia
misc ramblings
drunk

pissity, piss, piss...hmmmph

...WINTER STORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM 11 AM TUESDAY TO
8 PM EDT WEDNESDAY...

A WINTER STORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM 11 AM TUESDAY TO
8 PM EDT WEDNESDAY.

RAIN TONIGHT WILL MIX WITH AND CHANGE TO SNOW BY LATE MORNING ON
TUESDAY. THE SNOW IS EXPECTED TO BE HEAVY AT TIMES TUESDAY
AFTERNOON AND NIGHT...BEFORE TAPERING TO SNOW SHOWERS ON
WEDNESDAY. TOTAL SNOW ACCUMULATION OF 8 TO 14 INCHES WILL BE
POSSIBLE...ESPECIALLY ACROSS THE HIGHER TERRAIN ABOVE 1000 FEET.

VERY LOW VISIBILITY IN SNOW WILL SLOW TRAVEL ON AREA ROADWAYS
BEGINNING LATE TUESDAY MORNING. THE EXPECTED HEAVY WET SNOW WILL
BE CAPABLE OF BRINGING DOWN TREE BRANCHES AND POWER LINES. BE
PREPARED FOR THE POSSIBILITY OF POWER OUTAGES.

oh yeah, f*ck you! and if one damn person leaves any smarmy comment to the effect of "it's vermont, if you don't like the weather, just wait 5 minutes", i will hunt you down and cause you grievous bodily harm!...however, on the flipside...dare i say it...perhaps a s***day is in the making????!!!!...that would be the only saving grace in this predicted shitass event... (side note, if you remember my weird ritual post from a while back, you know i cannot utter that word aloud, lest i jinx it...)